Woman Arrested for Bunny Possession

Everyone loves bunnies.  But not as much as Miriam Sakewitz.  An employee at the hotel where Miriam was staying reported seeing over a dozen bunnies hopping around her room, and the police arrived and arrested her.  Most people might not be arrested for having bunnies in their room, but Miriam has a restraining order against her from the entire bunny population.  I’m serious.

In 2006 police confiscated over 250 bunnies from Miriam’s home, and they were taken to a shelter.  But no one separates Miriam from her fluffy little friends, so she broke into the shelter and stole them back.  That’s when she was arrested and placed on a five year probation.  She also was ordered not to go within 100 feet of a rabbit.

Police routinely search Miriam’s home for bunnies because of her probation, and in August of 2007 she refused to let officers in.  When they finally got into the home, she was arrested for possession of a 10-pound bag of carrots.  Again, I’m serious.

Since 2007 Miriam hasn’t had any trouble, but apparently she’s been meeting her bunny friends in hotel rooms for secret rendezvous.  She was arraigned on Wednesday on animal neglect charges.

If Al Roker Thinks You’re Crazy…

Al Roker interviewed Heidi and Spencer about their experience on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!” and he makes it pretty obvious that he’s not a Speidi fan.  If Al Roker thinks you’re crazy, you have serious problems.  This is what Al normally does at work:

This is the guy “The Today Show” chose to interview Heidi and Spencer.  Does that tell you how seriously they took this?

Al really tore these two apart.  He must have some secret vendetta against them.  I think he’s probably afraid that they are crazier than him.  And he can’t have that.  He works so hard to be the crazy ol’ weatherman!  I think this might be the best celebrity feud ever.  Al Roker versus Speidi.

Here’s the clip from “The Today Show”: Al Roker Interviews Speidi

Heidi and Spencer have already spoken out about the interview and how cruel Al Roker was to them.  Heidi said that he was so rude that she cried afterwards and that “I really would advise women especially to be careful around him because I feel like he definitely came and attacked me and I did not appreciate that at all.”  Yes, Heidi, Al is a little creepy, but is she trying to say that he attacked her as a woman?  She’s married to Spencer Pratt.  That’s the only response anyone needs to say to anything that Heidi argues about.

I actually did feel a little soft spot open up in my heart when Al was attacking them.  Spencer probably loved every second of it, especially where he was called a villain and a jerk.  Those words are like “wonderful” and “amazing” to him.  But Heidi really does look a little upset.  She even forgot to act and say obnoxious things about her dry shampoo.  I didn’t even hear one word about Jesus from her.  Al Roker must be the most talented person alive, because I thought that no one could ever make the Pratts forget to be annoying.

Spencer Pratt: “The Great White”

Heidi and Spencer Pratt are two of my favorite people to write about, because they give me endless supplies of things to laugh about.  This is how they stay famous and popular with the media.  They constantly come up with something new and more ridiculous to get people talking.  I totally support their habit.  If they want to be famous for being two of the most embarrassing people alive, that’s fine with me, because it’s highly entertaining.

After Heidi’s “success” releasing a few bikini-clad, low budget music videos, Spencer has been talking about how he’s going to be the next big thing in the rap world.  Most people laughed and didn’t expect him to really try, but you should never underestimate the perseverance of fame whores.

Spencer finally released his first rap song and video and it is a priceless work of art.  These people should write a book about how to become famous with absolutely no talent (and no shame).  Actually, that’s probably already in the works, because they think of everything.

The song is called “I’m a Celebrity,” and the video features Spencer and Heidi prancing through the jungle playing with bugs and lizards.  I know, it sounds too good to be true.  I thought it was my birthday when I woke up and saw this video waiting for me.

The theme of the song goes along with the new reality show featuring the couple called “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here!” which premieres tonight at 8pm EST on NBC.  It features 10 celebrities who are thrown into the jungle without all their usual luxuries and they have to compete to raise money for their favorite charity.  The show first aired in 2003 but lacked popularity and was canceled.  If only Heidi and Spencer were around back then, it surely would have made it.

My favorite thing about the whole scenario is Spencer’s chosen rap name: “The Great White.”

http://www.nbc.com/im-a-celebrity/

D.A.R.E. to be a Druggie

Thank you once again Cincinnati for the constantly amazing news stories.  This lovely specimen was arrested for cocaine possession while wearing his D.A.R.E. Role Model shirt.  There’s not much else to say about the story, because the picture really speaks for itself.  And apparently the new style is to not put your arms through your shirt sleeves.  It’s the hot new Cincinnati convict trend.  It’s good to see that we have such great role models keeping kids off drugs.  This photo gives us all a new hope for the future!

Derrick Morton pleaded guilty to the possession charges and will be sentenced next month.  A sentence of two years in prison has been recommended by the prosecutor.

[Thanks to Lauren!]

Mannequin May Be Fired For Being Too Sexy

I love Cincinnati news.  Every time I think that they’ve covered the most ridiculous story possible, something else comes along.  Such as this special live coverage of a mannequin that has been deemed too sexy to work in Cincinnati.  Residents actually find the mannequin too slutty and demand she stop wearing her bikini to work.  Watch the news coverage on Barbie the mannequin here: Mannequin Controversy

What an outrage.  This slutty mannequin stands on the corner every day soliciting business for a BBQ restaurant in Cincinnati, Ohio.  The owner is clearly violating all kinds of laws by letting her sexiness bring him business.  Plus he admits he hired her for her big boobs.  What about all the flat chested mannequins out there who can’t catch a break?  They can’t just slap on a bikini and sell BBQ.  This man obviously needs to be punished or else everyone will begin to violate the rights of these plastic people.

But, seriously, do you think anyone would be complaining if it was an actual person standing out there who was a gorgeous blonde in a bikini?  Apparently mannequins are much more seductive and therefore offensive.  Mannequins are tired of these stereotypes and it’s time to fight back.  Barbie can’t help it if she’s beautiful.  She was made that way.  She just wants to work her 9-5 and get respect for her talents like everyone else.  She’s definitely proved that she’s a hard worker — sales at the restaurant have gone up 40% since she started working there.  Let Barbie stay.

Cincinnati’s Superhero: Shadow Hare

I was listening to the radio today when suddenly the airwaves were filled with the voice of mystery.  It was Shadow Hare, the leader of Cincinnati’s Allegiance of Heroes.  As in superheroes.  As in masks and capes.  In Cincinnati.

Shadow Hare and the Allegiance are here to protect the citizens of Cincinnati with their handcuffs, tasers, and pepper spray.  And their majestic appearances of course.  Shadow Hare’s voice is probably enough to stop criminals in their tracks.  When they hear his strong, manly superhero voice ringing through the night, they will run for cover.  But not before one of the Allegiance members steps in to place them under the dreaded CITIZEN’S ARREST!

I live for stories like this.  And the fact that it’s happening in my own city makes me finally proud to be a resident of Cincinnati.  And tonight as I walk home, I know that the streets will be a safer (and crazier) place thanks to SHADOW HARE and the Allegiance of Heroes.

Click here to visit the World Superhero Registry and find out who is protecting you in your city: World Superhero Registry

Mother Spends $15,000 on Surgery to Look Like Daughter

Janet and Jane Cunliffe are 22 years apart but they look nearly identical.  That is because 50 year old Janet has spent $15,000 on plastic surgery to make herself look like her 28 year old daughter Jane.  I understand people wanting to look young and even getting surgery to keep some of their youthful appearance.  But to take in your daughter and say to the doctor, “make me look like this”?

What does Janet say to defend the fact she is turning herself into her daughter?  “The way I see it is that she got her looks from me in the first place — mine have just faded with age.”  She also said that she “envied Jane’s crinkle-free eyes, full lips, and luscious, long blonde hair.  I was desperate to look more like my daughter.”

Sounds to me that Jane should have filed for a restraining order ASAP.  Instead Jane says that she loves the attention they get together.  She said her mother is the sister she never had and they spend all their time picking out clothes and makeup.  The only hard part?  Sometimes people think she’s the older “sister.”  But, having the same delusional genes as her mother, Jane blows it off by saying, “It’s not because I look older than my years, but just that Mum looks unbelievably young for her age.”

Click here to read the full article and see photos of the mother and daughter: Daily Mail

Humans Make the Best Polar Bear Snacks

If it’s feeding time at the zoo, the smartest thing to do would probably be to jump into the polar bear’s enclosure and swim around like a fresh snack.  At least that’s what the polar bears want you to think.  Apparently they mesmerized some tasty morsel with their cute teddy bear eyes and got her to do just that.  A 32 year old woman who was visiting the Berlin Zoo with her husband and child could see that the bears were hungry for human, so she took off her shoes and hopped on in.  Apparently she didn’t like the feeling of giant polar bear teeth gnawing into her leg, because once they got a taste, she started screaming for help.  What a tease.

Click here to read the full article: UK DailyMail

Click Read More to see photos from the snack time incident.
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