Starkenberger Beer Resort

I didn’t have much to add to my Christmas list this year, but now I know exactly what I want.  A trip to the Starkenberger Beer Resort.

Starkenberger offers beer drinking of course, but their most unique feature is their collection of beer-filled swimming pools.  The resort has seven heated beer pools where you can swim, or just sit and relax in the beer.  Some say that beer is good for the skin and immersing yourself in the pools is therapeutic.  I think it would just make me thirsty.

On their site, you can sign up for 2 hours of swim time for 135 Euros.  If you want a meat tray and a bottle of beer to go along with your swim, that’s an extra 4 Euros per person.  You can have up to four people in a pool, and you adjust the beer temperature to your comfort level.  This might be the only time you want your beer warm.

http://www.bierschwimmbad.com/

Spacesleeper Pillow: A Helmet of Comfort (and Embarrassment)

According to their website, the Spacesleeper Pillow is useful for treating TMJ, airplane trips, and saving your skin from wrinkles.  In my opinion, wearing a pillow helmet is mostly useful for embarrassing yourself, looking even more ridiculous when you sleep than usual, and entertaining me with your willingness to look like a fool.

The marketing for this product is also ingenious.  Here are some highlights from the website:

The concept for this product came to its inventor, Tony Hightower, in late 2002. While observing his wife sleeping, he noticed the terrible creases and wrinkles on her face caused by pressure and contact points between the face and pillow.

So basically the guy couldn’t stand looking at his wife’s creepy wrinkles and imagining them being there permanently someday.  Whatever inspires you I guess.

This product with so many uses and benefits touching on key industries in the market could sell itself to anyone.

First of all, they need to hire an actual writer for their website.  This looks like one of those sentences my teacher gave me in my college writing class to fix up and help it to make sense.  Secondly, could they find a more cliche sales phrase?

After all that, I’m sure you’re interested, so I’ll let you know that the Spacesleeper Pillow sells for the low, low price of just $49.95.  Seriously…

Maybe the thing actually works, but that’s not going to stop me from laughing at you if you wear one.

http://www.spacesleeperpillow.com

http://twitter.com/SpaceSleeperCEO

PetAirways Launches First Animal Airline in July

After seeing how many pets are killed, injured, lost, or traumatized after flying in the cargo hold of commercial airlines each year, Alysa Binder and her husband Dan Wiesel decided to do something about it.  They had just transported their dog, Zoe, in cargo for a cross-country move, and they saw how upset and disoriented she was when they landed.  They realized they were lucky she was only upset and not hurt, but didn’t want to have to put her through that experience again, or see other pet owners have to put their pets in cargo.  Some pets get overheated due to the lack of airflow in the cargo area, others suffer from lack of oxygen, and some try to escape from their crates which results in injury or death.

So they formed PetAirways, an airline only for pets (who will be called “pawsengers”), which will begin service on July 14th.  For now, the airline only services Chicago, New York, Los Angeles, Denver, and Washington D.C., but they hope to spread to 25 cities within the next couple years.

The PetAirways plane was made from a 19-passenger turbo prop with the seats and luggage bins removed.  They were replaced with 50 pet carriers which are secured by individual straps.  Each pet will have their own carrier and attendants stay with the animals from the moment you drop them off until you pick them up in the destination city.  People can’t fly on PetAirways, but if your flight is on a different schedule, PetAirways makes sure to have someone taking care of your pet until you are able to retrieve it.

Attendants also feed the pets before take-off and after landing, and make sure that they are comfortable.  For longer flights, the plane makes a pit stop so all animals are able to move around and use the restroom if needed.  There is also a trained veterinarian available at all times to look after the animals.  There is a pet lounge available for the animals to play in before and after flights.

Flights for pets isn’t cheap — they are offering special prices for now, but they are expecting flights to cost about $250 one way.  Still, $250 is a small amount to secure your pet’s safety and comfort.  I know I would never be able to put my pet in cargo, and for moves across the country it’s hard to transport a pet any other way.  PetAirways is one of the best ideas I’ve heard about in a long time, and I hope it turns out to be successful.

PetAirways also works in collaboration with Best Friends Animal Sanctuary.  They will donate flights for pet adoptions and rescue so that more pets can be transported safely to their new homes.

www.petairways.com

Versace’s Refrigerated Beach

The fashion house Versace is opening a new beachfront hotel in Dubai called the Palazzo Versace.  This top-dollar hotel wants their guests to be comfortable at all times.  Everyone knows that sometimes the sand on beaches gets hot and can even burn your feet in high temperatures.  Most people would just strap on some sandals and go for it.

Not at Palazzo Versace.  Instead they are placing a network of pipes beneath their beach that contain a coolant which absorbs the heat from the sand, leaving it a cool, comfortable temperature.  The hotel will also be refrigerating their pool so the water stays refreshing, and they are discussing options to put in giant fans outside that will keep a constant breeze blowing through.

It’s so nice to see that when the world is suffering from a recession, there is still enough money to refrigerate beaches.  God forbid rich people have to wear a pair of their Jimmy Choos out onto the beach to keep their feet from burning.  I think a hotel is nice if they have HBO and a continental breakfast.

Jessica Simpson Gets A Reality Show…Again

Reality shows have become Hollywood’s version of charity.  Washed up celebrity with a struggling career?  Here, have a reality show.  Feeling like no one loves you enough anymore and need more attention?  Reality show.  Just plain nuts and can’t hold a normal job?  PLEASE take a reality show!

Jessica Simpson probably fits all of those categories and then some.  After her failed marriage to Nick Lachey (not that he’s doing much better these days), being called fat repeatedly, and a few failed pop and country albums, Jessica is whoring herself back to reality TV to “redeem” herself.

The concept of the show sounds like it has the potential to be interesting.  It’s called “The Price of Beauty,” and a source told US Weekly about the premise: “She and a friend set off on a road trip around the world in search of what people find beautiful and why.”  A nice change from just seeing what America thinks is beautiful.  To go to other cultures and find out their interpretations of beauty is something that most people aren’t able to experience, and to document it might be a good idea.  Of course, then comes the rest of the description, where my warning signs start going off: “(Jessica will try) shocking things that women do to make themselves beautiful.  Picture ‘Fear Factor’.”

I’m imagining Jessica Simpson in Africa getting her face pierced with a stick, or having those rings put around her neck.  Hmm, maybe the show doesn’t sound too bad after all…

My biggest worry is how badly Jessica is going to offend each culture she visits.  She has been known to say some pretty stupid things, like calling tuna “chicken.”  It’s one thing when you’re offending a fish, but when she starts calling Spanish people Mexicans, we’re going to have a problem.  Which is all part of the reason that I’m going to tune in.

Atlanta Airport Uses Music to Keep Clean

Taking a new approach to an anti-litter campaign, the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta International Airport is now using music to inspire people to clean up after themselves.  They changed the words to popular songs such as “Shake Your Groove Thing,” which is now “Keep It Opening Day Fresh” and “Bustin’ Loose” which became “We’re Steady Cleaning Up.”  Of course they also threw in some new lyrics to “Fantastic Voyage,” making it “Our New Concessions,” reminding patrons about the food and retail options available at the airport.  Don’t expect them not to try to subliminal message people into buying stuff while they’re at it.

The airport secured the rights to each of the songs from the original artists, who even agreed to record the new versions themselves.  They all have said they are pleased with the new versions.  (AKA: they aren’t famous anymore and need money.)  Herb Fame, from Peaches and Herb, who performed the remake to “Shake Your Groove Thing,” said it “was a worldwide song and people recognize the melody.  It was fun to do and every time I come through the airport I listen to it.”

The airport worked with psychologists to develop a better method to fighting the litter issue.  Signs are easy to overlook, and people see them everywhere.  With the music sounding so close to the original, it’s more of a subliminal message that people will hear all around them.  “The whole idea is to make it sound as much like the original as possible,” said Doug Strachan, Creative Innovations Manager for the City of Atlanta Department of Aviation, who rewrote the lyrics himself. “If it’s not really done with deft, then it kind of detracts from it rather than enhances it.”

Maybe he hasn’t listened to the songs he wrote, because they sound absolutely ridiculous.  Here are some lyrics from the future hit “Our New Concessions”: “Wow!  New shopping, new spas, new food! / People can’t you see, oh can’t you see, Hartsfield-Jackson wants to serve you.  (That’s right we mean it!) / We want to serve your happiness with purses… / Construction’s almost complete (It’s almost done!) / It’ll be brand new.  (So new!)”

Along with the new music, the airport has also started using a special scent in the airport to help people relax, which is called “Breeze.”  It’s an attempt to add even more sensory reminders that the airport is a “clean” atmosphere.  They are currently developing a custom scent for the airport to replace this one.

No matter what the Atlanta airport does, I doubt I would ever feel relaxed there.  It is one of the busiest airports in the country and has always been my least favorite stopping point for a layover.  They’re going to need to start pumping some anti-anxiety scent in with the “Breeze” if they really want people to relax and take in their awesome new music.

Click Read More to read some of the new lyrics to the classic songs.
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